I grew up in a very religious environment. As a child, I wasn’t allowed to talk to friends from school because I was taught that they were of the devil, Christians or not. I was allowed to watch all the football I wanted on television but to physically play the game even for fun was a sin because it was considered competitive.

As a young teenager, I grew a goatee but was told that it was from Satan. I was subsequently removed from church after I’d asked an elder to show me proof in the Bible about the goatee as I couldn’t find it in mine.

By the age of 15, my heart had hardened. I viewed God and Satan as one and the same. I thought God had set people up to fail, so I denounced Him. I even spent the next 20 years trying to prove that He didn’t exist through Physics.

I turned into a drug addict, a thief, and a liar. I probably could have killed someone if put in the right situation. I was LOST and so mad at God that I didn’t want to be found by Him. One time, I even purposefully took twice the amount of methamphetamine to end my life. But somehow, through the hand of Christ, I survived.

Still, I didn’t acknowledge Him and even used my suicide attempt to prove that man can do anything on his own. I quit drugs but still denied God. This went on for over another decade that was marked by depression, constant suicidal thoughts, and darkness.

Then, a few months ago, I was over at a friend’s house, and we were joking about smoking. I had been smoking for 25 years—since I was 15. I made a joke with NO sincerity that it would take God to make me quit the habit.

Instantly, in my soul, I heard God ask, “Are you ready to accept Me now? If you believe in Me and believe I can take this from you, then you have already quit smoking.”

I was scared and felt it couldn’t be what I thought it was. I ignored it and shook it off. I took another puff of the cigarette, but it tasted horrible and I started coughing. It was like God was lovingly asking, “Why are you fighting Me when I love you so much?”

I told Him I would fight Him no more. I went home and began weeping. I wept for days at the mere thought of God. I gave myself to Him and felt love like I never did before.

I picked up my Bible and asked God what He wanted me to share about Him if I were to minister to others. I was drawn to the Book of Hebrews. I read it twice, looking for evidence of it being a story of God’s grace instead of man’s never-ending guilt—something I believed when I had read it as a child.

After reading the Book of Hebrews for the third time, I looked up at my television. The volume was muted but the captions were scrolling. The remote control was underneath me and somehow, the channel got switched. As I watched, the captions shown were from the book of Hebrews and the preacher, whom I later found out was Pastor Joseph Prince, was saying the exact things I was feeling in my heart! HALLELUJAH!

Everything, and I mean everything—condemnation over every curse I had spoken, anger against those who had wronged me, lust, greed, and the guilt of every sin I had committed or was holding myself to—vanished.

Through love, Jesus broke the chains that were keeping me bound to the devil’s lies. I have also not smoked since. People always tell me how proud they are of me for quitting the habit and I tell them, “Praise God.” The devil made me desire cigarettes, but through grace, God took away all desire to smoke. I have not desired it since the night He spoke to me.

I want to thank you, Pastor Prince. Jesus was speaking to me through you on television that night. It confirmed what I had believed in for many, many years. The only anger I have left now is strictly against the devil for keeping me away from my Daddy God, my Father, for so many years.

I have since started to see how the LORD has been blessing me, even in ways that I couldn’t imagine. I told Him I was afraid to minister to others—what if I were to lead someone wrongly? He told me not to worry and to trust in Him. Today, I’m no longer afraid and am excited. I find myself speaking His word of love to people around me and welling up with joy as I do.

God is loving, kind, and great. I pray that Jesus keeps you doing what you’re doing—bringing to Him those depressed and burdened by trying to keep the law through self-effort to gain His favor. God bless you, now and for eternity. Amen!