No Longer Ashamed And Condemned, Passed PhD Exam
Today, I am a PhD candidate by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. I had failed the PhD qualifying examination in 2014. I was fearful and anxious during the exam and got confused over material that had been previously covered. When I received the results, I was extremely miserable. I turned to watching Trinity Broadcasting Network and Daystar programs to find some comfort.
While feeling depressed every now and then during that period of time, I heard a message from Pastor Prince and was hooked. It was as if I had found delicious food after being starved for a long time. I turned to YouTube and listened to every message by Pastor Prince I could find, and bought several of his MP3 messages.
The more I listened, the more encouraged I was, and the deeper I fell in love with Jesus. I started to experience His love for me on a whole new level. I grew up in a pastor’s home and thought I knew the Lord, but only as I listened did I truly begin to understand His love. I started sending videos of Pastor Prince's messages to my family and friends. They thought I was being odd but I did not care. I had discovered the good news and I wanted them to know about it. I pestered my sister to watch it and she is now hooked too.
I finally understood what Psalm 51:12—“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation”—meant. I no longer felt condemned and believed that Jesus would help me with the exam retake. Though I knew I would be out of the PhD program if I failed again, I refused to entertain any fears or doubts. I kept declaring that I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. As Jesus is, so am I in this world. When thoughts of shame came, I rejected those thoughts by boldly declaring that Jesus is not ashamed. He bore my shame so I no longer have to be ashamed.
I prayed that Jesus would be glorified in my exam. During the exam retake, I kept reminding myself of what I knew about my Savior. With the back of my pen, I wrote His name on every exam page. Although it could not be seen by the human eye, the Lord could see it. I told the Lord, “This is Your test, Lord. No graduate committee can give You a failing grade.”
Well, I passed the exam! To God be the glory! I can boldly declare that because the Lord Jesus is my help, failure isn’t my portion.
Texas, United States