I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 7. But when I got involved in a sinful relationship, I was terrified that I had lost my salvation. I heard over and over in my mind that I was going to hell.

I lived an absolutely miserable life as I continued in that relationship for 20 years. I felt as though God was mad at me and that I would have to face His wrath and punishment for the rest of my life. I also turned away from Christianity as I thought I had lost all closeness and communication with my heavenly Father.

I always knew that my lifestyle wasn’t God’s best for me. There were multiple times I tried to get out of that lifestyle but only to return to it within months. At one point, I tried to become involved in a church to turn my life around but when they learned of my past, they told me that it was likely I had never been saved.

I felt defeated and I fell deeper and deeper into that sinful lifestyle. My mind was tortured with thoughts like how no serious partner would want me if they knew about my past. I also believed that I would be stuck in the sinful relationship indefinitely. The self-condemnation was unbearable and I hated myself.

I became depressed and took anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication for years. I got seriously suicidal at several points. I remember sitting on my bed one day with a handgun pointed to my temple, sobbing and shaking. I had no doubt I would lose my life through my own hands. It was just a matter of when I would have the courage to do it.

Then in 2012, my mom called, telling me about the message of grace preached by Joseph Prince. She said, “You have to hear this man.” To be honest, I thought she had lost her mind. My family and I were from the Bible Belt in the United States, and I wondered what a Singaporean pastor could teach us that we had not already heard.

Pastor Prince, when I visited my parents a few months later and watched your program, I learned about God’s love, mercy, and grace, and how the law was the ministry of death. You had my attention. I had never heard about God’s grace and unmerited favor before.

I started recording your programs and watching them daily. I also got hold of your book Unmerited Favor. While reading it, tears flowed down my face as I discovered that God had never been mad at me.

I also learned that my name was forever written in God’s Book of Life the instant I asked Him into my heart as a child. I was permanently, hopelessly, and helplessly saved FOREVER. There was nothing I could do to earn or lose my salvation.  I discovered that when God looks at me, He sees me through the work of His precious Son. Hallelujah!

Learning who I was and whose I was set me free. And learning how God STILL loves me, is for me, and wants to bless me—despite all that I had done—changed everything.

I continually declared that I was the righteousness of God through faith in the finished work of Jesus even while I was still struggling with that sin. Within months, those chains utterly fell off my life and I have been set free from that lifestyle. It felt as though I was shedding dead leaves or stepping out of my old skin. This transformation happened 3 years ago and I am no longer in that sinful relationship.

Today, I no longer battle depression and am freed of all anti-depressant drugs. The shalom-peace of God is in my heart and I am now enjoying a healthy relationship. I have been redeemed, my sins atoned for, and my life RESTORED. I am also sharing my story with others who are going through similar struggles. All glory to God!

Thank you, Pastor Prince. God saved my life through your message of grace. I pray that God will continue to anoint your messages and pour out His favor upon you and your ministry.