I am twenty-three years old. for ten years, I suffered and fought anorexia to the point that everyone, including medical professionals, believed I would drop dead at any second. At one point, my weight reached an all-time low of twenty-five kilograms. It is a miracle that I am alive and experiencing full life today, as I was not hospitalized throughout those years. It is purely the love and power of God that kept me alive.

I gave my life to Jesus when I was fifteen years old but I saw Jesus as someone who rewarded me when I was good and punished me when I was bad. I even believed that if I was good, I would go to heaven, and if I was bad, I would go to hell. Church became a place I went to just to get everyone off my back, not because I wanted to go.

When I eventually stopped going to church, I became consumed by anorexia and its lies. I became so self-obsessed and had no consideration for anyone else. It was all about me and my body. My mom dragged me to every doctor, psychiatrist, dietitian, nutritionist, and healer she could find. I constantly fought against all of them, especially in the first three years of my condition as I was in total denial. I believed that everyone wanted me to be fat and that they were just jealous I was thinner than them. I became a real manipulative, lying, deceitful, dishonest, and self-centered monster.

I was taken out of school due to my extreme weight loss and my refusal to eat. My mom watched me like a hawk and forced me to take meal replacements. Eventually, my mom allowed me to start home schooling and it was through this that I met the real Jesus.

I was given the phone number of a girl called Jessica and was told that she could help me register for the home school system. Jessica and her mom came over to my house and helped my mom and I get the registration sorted out. From then on, Jessica and I started to form a close friendship and she began sharing Jesus with me.

I really began to admire Jessica, the life she led, and her relationship with Jesus. I started going to church with her every week. She and her family took me under their wing and started sharing the love and truth of Jesus with me. They showed me unconditional love and acceptance and truly believed in me. They prayed over me regularly and gave me books to read and sermons to listen to. The first book they gave me was Joseph Prince’s book, Destined To Reign. I could not believe what I was reading, so I read the book several times. I also began listening to Joseph’s podcasts and writing down all the gems I was getting out of them.

However, even though I would go to church with Jessica week after week and was soaked in the teachings of grace, I did not feel connected to Jesus like how everyone else in the church seemed to be. So I began pursuing Jesus with every part of my being, speaking to Him continually despite feeling like I was talking to a brick wall. Despite what I felt, I continued to speak to Jesus, pouring my heart out to Him and speaking the truth of what I had been hearing at church. But my weight continued to decrease.

Then one day in 2011, when my weight hit rock bottom, I felt prompted to burn my old baggy clothes that I always hid myself in. I told my mom and a lady from church this but did not think much of it. A week later, I was praying and I asked Jesus to show me clearly what it was He wanted me to do. Half an hour later, I opened the Bible app on my iPad and it showed me Colossians 3:9–10, which says, “Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.”

I couldn’t believe it! God was actually speaking to me! I almost fell off my chair! I ran to tell everyone I could find!

After hearing from God for the first time, I continued to pursue Him even more intently. Most of the time though I would still end up giving in to the lies, I repented by thanking Jesus that despite my failings, He still loved me. I also thanked Him for the victory that He had already given me through His finished work, even though I felt and looked like I was failing.

I began to truly hear and experience Jesus. The more I pressed in to Him, the more freedom I began to find as He placed the right people at specific times to encourage, love, and guide me on my journey to freedom from anorexia. Jesus changed everything for me! He demolished the lies and revealed the truth. He showed me His indescribable love, compassion, and never-ending grace. Jesus is the reason I live and I need Him every second! He directs my paths and leads me in constant victory. He is my strength and shield!

Today, I have gained fifteen kilograms and am aiming for more. I am living a full, abundant, happy, and healthy life and I am exploding with love, joy, and blessings. I am now sharing my testimony with whomever I can and I have spoken at five local schools over the past year. All the glory goes to Jesus. It was all Him!

Joseph Prince, I would just like to say a huge thank you for teaching the truth about God’s grace. You helped change my wrong beliefs, and demolished the lies of the enemy. I now understand my true identity in Jesus. I am forever grateful.